How not to do work in Singapore

You hate monday mornings. You dislike seeing your Boss's face. You are tired from all the work stress.

Sadly, I don't give a shit

But since I am an empathetic individual (you are a pathetic one), I have devised an easy and cool way to earn money from not doing anything at all in Singapore. Really. Minimal effort is required.

Its called placing standard ticket collection boxes in MRT stations.

This method is beautiful. Remember that every standard ticket has a $1 deposit. Returning the card to SMRT gives you back $1. So the plan is to collect as many standard tickets as possible.

But which idiots will willingly give you that $1? Tourists are the best targets, of course. Preferably tourists that don't understand English for nuts. Just put up a big sign that has the picture of the green colored standard ticket, and those idiots will put it there.

So design your collection box. Apart from having that big sign with the picture of the green colored standard ticket, you could attract the tourists more by linking the green colored card to a theme such as environmental friendliness. Oh yea, include the recycling logo too. And the LTA logo, so that no one will question you. Clever advertisement is the key in every product.

Also, place the box in smart places. Not in every MRT station, but specific tourists attractions. Like Orchard, City Hall, Clarke Quay, Chinatown and so on. Not at ulu places like Clementi and Admiralty. The tourists don't go there. Learn how to strategize placement of key infrastructure.

To fully utilize the potential of the box, name the box "Standard Ticket Deposit Box for Recycling", where the word "deposit" might confuse even the English speaking tourists that hear the word "deposit" while obtaining the card. The idea is to create a psychological rift among your clients to gain the necessary financial advantage.

Remember, your clients are tourists. Do make sure your signboard is in many different languages. Tourists feel happy and contented if they see that you actually give shit about their country's language. Vice-versa, you make tourists feel that they are from an extremely special country if they dont see their country's language on that multilingual board. So just pick the popular languages and watch as you profit.

Oh yeah, dont credit me. Fuck no. This is your beautiful idea. If you wish to thank me, email me and we can arrange a way for you to donate generously to support this blog which is really really expensive to sustain.

Lol out.