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Omg i m back to blogging lol. After close to one year.

I would like to thank my pet cat, Taffy.

Firstly, Taffy is a generic loser cat name. Blame my highly culturally westernized brother for picking such a horrible generic name for a cat. We could have named it Godzilla. Or something much more powerful like Jackie Chan (hey that guy survived almost everything, he would definitely beat Godzilla).

Secondly, I would like to thank him (or her, I havent checked) for being there for me all the way through thick and thin, and giving me moral support whenever i feel down. (Do not confuse feeling down with having down syndrome, down syndrome is specially reserved for special people. I obviously do not possess those special qualities, regardless of whether you think i have.)

Last but not least, I would like to tell you Taffy is a non-existent, experimentally hallucinated cat. I dont own a cat, but thanks to the panadol i took I think i actually hallucinated a cat.

OPTION TIME! :

If you decide not to eat panadol, flip to page 2.
If you decide to take panadol to hallucinate your favorite cat, take 12 panadols and flip to page 444


pg2:

If you are familiar with the above options i just mentioned, they come from a type of book called <CHOOSE YOUR OWN ADVENTURES>, and they were very popular with the previous generations (my father's colleagues have tons of them). Basically, they were books that allowed you to make decisions that are represented as options on the bottom of the page, and then tell you to flip to a specific page. Bad decisions cost you your character's life. And then you would have to restart. Simply said, it is a book-styled rpg (role playing game).

The trick into winning this book game was to either be really really really really really lucky, or remember the damn page numbers. Doing so will allow you to refer back to your previous steps and correct your mistakes. This is a really cheapskate strategy and sorts of takes away the fun from the book, and makes you a loser. Hey you were supposed to die and feel pissed while exploring lots of options and then feel REALLY awesome after you finished the book!

So as pertaining to my previous options, if you came to the logical conclusion that eating panadol is a ridiculous and impossible way to hallucinate a cat, i commend you for being logical and ruining my fun. While if you havent realised what were the options about and decided to just casually scroll downwards to read, it is fine, i understand your father colleagues didnt have books such as these. While if you decided to employ the cheapskate strategy and check each page slowly, you are the second ultimate loser in life (Alastiar is currently holding first place).

Alternatively, if you decided to take the second option and eat 12 panadols to try to hallucinate a cat, here is page 444:

pg444:


Disclaimer: The above blog author is not responsible for any action anyone carries out outside his jurisdiction. The author does not have credentials to give out instructions and thus will not do so, i.e. his blogging services are text-based with no intention of instructing anyone. The author is also not an expert in liver failure and does not have the sufficient knowledge to understand that excess doses of panadol cause severe liver damage and thus failure and might lead to death. If you have come to this page with the intention to sue the author, you cannot as it is not liable, but the author sympathizes with you and if it makes you feel better, the author states that no animals, whether existent or nonexistent, were harmed in the process.


You must be wondering. Why a cat? Why am I thanking it? Why doesnt it exist? Why panadol? Why 12 of them? Why is Alastiar still the Ultimate Loser?

Dont worry, the answers are all here:

1. Why a Cat?
Ans: Because cats have 4 legs. Dogs were obviously not chosen because half of them are bitchy.

2. Why am I thanking it?
Ans: Coz it doesnt exist?

3. Why doesnt it exist?
Ans: Because I was LYING to you. Yes i dont always tell the truth. You should have known by now.

4. Why Panadol?
Ans: Panadol is one of the easier medicine names to type out. Plus I picked a more convenient and available medicine for those that decide to flip to pg 444.

5. Why 12 of them?
Ans: That is conventionally one box of panadol. Or half a box for the big boxes.

6. Why is Alastiar still the Ultimate Loser?
Ans: Seriously? Did you ask that because you want to BE the ultimate loser? Furthermore, I refuse to verbally (or textually) abuse those with Down Syndrome. Its just not nice to do so.

Ok now that i have answered your queries, i need to sleep, PE tmrw awww, have to go for PE honours.

Lol out.